Co-parenting without the drama—and without needing your ex to change first 

As part of my work on narcissist and empath dynamics, I am creating a spin-off guide specifically for people who are navigating a co-parenting relationship with an ex who has covert narcissistic defenses. 

The advice for healing and recovering from a covert narcissistic relationship is typically to create as much space as possible—ideally going no-contact. That's obviously not possible when there are kids involved. Sure, you can implement a low-contact parenting approach, but it leaves a lot to be desired in terms of what you might have hoped for a more collaborative, engaged co-parenting dynamic, even if your relationship with your ex partner wasn't the healthiest.

Unresolved tension between the parents makes its way onto the children and they believe that it's their responsibility to navigate and mediate the disparity between their parents. The dynamic still feels fraught because every touchpoint holds the potential for backsliding into the dysfunctional dynamics that led to the separation in the first place. And “gray rocking” can feel emotionally draining when you are forced to dampen your authentic emotional expression anytime you are around your ex, which could be during important shared milestones with your children where you’d like to feel present and at ease.

This guide offers a heartfelt deep dive into the shadow work that operates in how we navigate our sovereignty in a co-parenting dynamic, how we respect our ex partner’s sovereignty, and how we communicate and interact from a place of grounded, energetic integrity.